Jul 29, 2010

Telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Wondering what type of sick man makes 'art' like I do?

Well, this is me.

I've had the beard for about eight years. And just shaved it off yesterday - and already am in mourning.

I really miss it you know.

Not only was great for scaring little kids and making old ladies cry out in alarm - it was like an old friend, in that it kept me warm in winter, had the aroma of home grown tobacco mixed with spilt beer, and gave me something to hang onto on our nightly drop-bear hunting expeditions (you probably know that Australian drop-bears are extremely vicious creatures who can bite your head of with one chomp - and I get nervous).

Of course the dagger is plastic - but I always have trouble convinceing the airline attendents to let me keep in when I fly - even on domestic flights. I hope now that my face is naked they'll  warm to me more. They might even let me keep the fake samurai sword I am attempting to hide with my left arm in the pictures.

This photograph was taken after a few days of slashing rare rainforest timber in the tropics of Northern Queensland.

After a entire eight hour day day murdering small trees I like to relax with a large glass of green lolly water and try and find the interesting and unusual insects that have lodged in my beard sometime in the proceeding week. Of course, like all timber cutters, I don't have a conscience - but sometimes I have strange dreams.



Oh, if you are jealous of my beard, and wondering where you can get a similar one - try here.
Of course if you grow one, let me know. I would love to see it.

Thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. You are all wonderful, scintillating and beautifully intelligent people.


  1. ok, I am laughing out loud now, that beard is too much. Yes, yes, you are very scary just like your images; maybe with your beard gone you will have better balance on the surf board...All those stowaways may have been throwing off your balance you know. I think Ces may be trying to one up you though.

  2. Wellllllllllll.... I am here. As intended.




    I'm speechless.

    Ok, I'll let you off for bringing the comment back on, but I won't forget the other picture with the beard gone! (Still not playing fair, I see?) :))

    Seriously, Mr. Timber Cutter, you should step into the limelight as all clown are destined to do. Especially Giant clowns. Hehehehee...

    Well, thanks for showing this. It's wonderful. I'm sure we'll go to bed more soundly in peace after this. :D :D

  3. Now that the beard is gone, will you still be able to make great "arrrrggghhht?" I hope so! ;o)

  4. Heh, thanks for looking..... I guess I had an attack of sillyness.

    Hmmm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgh :)

  5. Andrew, I really admire you, I believe you are Matusalén, never seen anyone that has 1865 years old!!
    How do you put the candles on the birthday cake?

  6. ahhh ... I imagine that the lack his good friend - his beard is doing now!
    so, nice to meet you! I liked to know you more;
    this 'presence' terrible and feared!
    this is very very good 'picture' and all its accessories ...
    how to live without imagination?
    would be too boring ...

    a big hug!

  7. Okay, this place is even more delightful and mysterious and intriguing and lachrymose and oblong and vermicious and lithe than I suspected when you de-lurked over at my place! Heavens to Mergatroid, is my point.

    Thanks for being kind of a weirdo. I'm coming back for more. Unless you block me, in which case, I'll insist other people forward your wonderful doings to me whole-cloth, which will simply tax everyone's patience, time, and technology, so please just let me come back.


  8. Andrew, for God's sake!
    I've seen that beard, like the bottom of an iceberg below your face! I had a beard for 20 years and I shaved four or five months ago. and I still talk to him at night ... I tell her I miss her. I've realized that I can not live without her, and tell her about how annoying it is to have to shave every morning!
    And with my right hand grabbed the air under my jaw. putting the face of a man who is thinking about something serious. but I realize that she is no more ....
    Well. possibly, at some time we will have our new partners, so that we look again to be of an obnoxious man with a beard!
    Run, children, approaching the man with the beard!


Hya! Thank you so much for leaving a comment. I appreciate your time and thoughts.