Oct 11, 2010

The Transpotated Joy of Being Cessinated

(Warning: Rambling post ahead)

Did you know that English is a language of relatively few words?

Yes, hard to believe isn't it?

If you are a native English speaker, your personal vocabulary is only about 20,000 words. And, of these words, you probably only use 2,000 on a regular basis.

Two thousand? It's not much really, especially if you spend a lot of time talking, or blogging, or even commenting on art work. Using myself as an example, just listen out for my use of  nice, wonderful, gorgeous, colourful, super, beautiful, excellent, congratulations - these and serviceable words like them come up over and over when I comment. And over. 

Not that there is anything wrong with them. On the contrary, they are all positive words that make us feel good and should be used more often. But they are just prime examples of the chosen few - some of the 2000 old faithfuls that I rely on in our communications with fellow beings.

Hola gente maravillosa, siento que no hay traducción al español. Voy a tener que traductor Google buton dispuesto lo antes posible. Pero este mensaje tiene un montón de palabras que (I made up the words!) he aprendido de memoria - por lo que no tendrá sentido. No tiene sentido que los hablantes de Inglés - pero no se lo digas a nadie. Feliz hacer arte! (be Happy in your art making)

Okay, well that's the one sided story. Admittedly, as English speakers we have a whole lot more than 2,000 (or even 20,000) words to choose from.

In fact, according to The Global Language Monitor, at this present second, there are exactly 1,007,711 words in the English language. But wait! By the time you finish reading this post there will be 1,007,711.5 words in the English language - depending on how slowly you read. (Of course you may not read the whole post and that means your vocabularly will be sadly depleted - because I have a surprise at the end, and it's not just that Eves' palm in the next image is missing.)

Well, 1,007,711.5 words seems a real lot doesn't it? But hold on to your horses, don't let the clappers go, nor spill your milk before she is counted.

Given that there are 508 million people who speak English as a first or second language, simple mathematics tells us that we have only 0.001968th of a word each to call our own. That's not even a single letter each in the longest word in the English language which, as you probably guessed is something like Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsano...pterygon at 183 letters (it means a long legged crustacean who eats Chinese takeway every third Sunday of the month).

Well how can we fix this problem?

Obviously we need to invent new words. We need more words to share around. At the moment a new English word is magicked up out of thin space every 98 mins.

One every 98 minutes? Not much isn't it? Considering those 508 million people, I reckon that that is a poor effort. While some of us are inventing new words, what are the other 507,000,956 people doing?

But the theory that a new word is magicked up every 98 minutes is merely a theory - just as it says.
And like every theory, it has its faults. And not surprisingly a  brief analysis shows up its faults quite quickly.

The most obvious fault that I can see is that the theoreticians over at The Global Language Monitor didn't figure on me.

Yes me. (I'm the guy hugging the tree on the left at the back in the next image)

Poor humble me. I mean it's obvious to me that if there were more people like me in the world that the gross rate of new words being magicked up (the NWBMU rate) would suddenly inflate to a massive three words an hour - which, by amazing coincidence, is exactly the speed that I type at.

So, with this in mind I had a walk on the beach today. And while I was dodging the tentacle blessed Bluebottles and the scurvy scum cusking bottom creatures' dehydrated washed-up bodies that littered the hide tigh mark I came up with several new words - the most magick of them being "transpotated."

Now 'transpotated' by another amazing coincidence, isn't the Illustration Friday prompt this week.

The word for IF is, in fact, "Transportation".

Transportation? Yes, I kid you not. Transportation - a particularly weak, assidious and denostrating word. 
Where is the assonance? The consonance? The sybillence? (okay I admit it has some assonance and consonance - but only a twiggle of each).  Where is the kink in its armour that will allow people like myself to easily mispell it?

It's all too easy a word. "Trans' the preffix meaning 'across'. "Port' meaning 'to carry'. The suffix 'ion' indicating that it is a noun. And so we have from 'trans' and 'port' the words 'transported', 'transposed', 'transporation' etc. All bland, billious and beltany. Not much is it?

But as I said, the the theoreticians who came up with the NWBMU rate didn't figure on me.

And so, after my walk this morning I would like to proudly announce that English has four new words. Yes! Not one, not two nor three but four!

Since this morning English has the new words 'transpotated', 'transpotatederd', 'transportater' and last but not least:  'transportadeness' - which is the art of being ready to be 'transportated."

And so finally, at last, and not without time - to the guist of the matter.

These four new words  ('transpotated', 'transpotatederd', 'transportater' and 'transportadeness')  I would like to dedicate to my friend Ces, who, with her generous gift of a nut, has recently 'transpotated' me from my usual state of 'untransportadeness' into a world of otherworldly Cessinatedness.

It will be of no surprise to you that Ces's gift of a nut was not just any nut. As you can see in the leading image of this post it was a nut, not only worthy of the invention of four new words, but a nut ideally suited to be the new Goddess figure of the inaugral Ces Nut Dwarven Appreciation Society of New South wales and the Southern Highlands - of which I am the newest founding member....

Do you know Ces' work?
If not I would highly recommend a trip.
Ces is inspiring, brilliant, concaphanous, a great artist, generous and just a little nutty.
She has also just founded (with others) the BBB society - which a little bird informs me is short for The Big Breasted Budgerigar Society.

Her artwork rips. Which is good.

Is any one still reading? If you are still here I would like to thank you for your time. You are very kind.

Below and above you will find some of my weeks work. Cinderella's Chariot,  renditions of a Cramer induced Adam and Eve, and also something for Creative Cup, which has just announced it's first challenge. If you look closely you will find that the apple in one scene transports Adam and Eve from the garden of Eden, that the Pumplin Carriage transports Cinderella to her father's home, and that the tea pot in the Creative Cup transports me into a world where tea tastes nice, and the surf is great every day.

Thankyou for reading. I enjoy typing and I must get a spell chicker one day....

And thank you SO MUCH for all those people who commented on my last post. I'm off to visit your blogs when I get back from the studio and thank you personally. Watch out, I have some new words in my armoury!


    I read everything.
    Thank you.
    Your new group work rocks, rips and roars.
    Thank you for the Whatever Nut Appreciation Society. You just elevated my nut with that first image. I like that very much.
    Thank you.

  2. I like this post so much! The illustration are simply wonderfull like always, you are great, you must have a magic mind and fantasy, I undestand what you said about the words and the translations and meaning

    see you have a nice day

  3. At first I could only get the first picture up, and read your fascinating story without the illustrations. Lots of interesting thoughts, there. And I am totally pro- making new words. I´ve made a couple myself. I tend to making it simple though. Taking nouns and making them into verbs. The one I´m most proud of is "ARTING", which to me seems such a logical word I cannot for the life of me understand why it hasen´t been invented a long time ago.
    Anyway. I´ll have to pop back later today to see if I can see your other images.
    Till then...!

  4. Ups. All of a sudden there they are. Well, to use one word you didn´t mention in the beginning of the post: They are superb!
    By the way, nuts are delicious! How does one apply to your newly founded organization?

  5. I must admit I am one of those un-imaginitive people who uses words such as 'wonderful', 'gorgeous' and 'beautiful'. And, sadly, as I type them out I think to myself 'I wish I could find more interesting words' as I feel like I am often repeating myself. So, rather than describing your work as 'wonderful' today, I am going to say that it is bewildering and spectacular, which is probably not much more imaginitive than 'wonderful' and certainly isn't a new addition to the English language, but really, it's hard to describe how one feels towards your work when you're just that good an illustrator!

  6. Hey Andrew! Wow! That was one transpotating post!! You invented several other words along the way in your post that you didn't mention, like Cessinated: (verb) to be enchanted, delighted and nutted. and Chicker: (noun) A spelling bird as opposed to the common spelling bee. Ok now I have to come up with my own word to describe your __________ work. Hmmmm it is original...it is fantastic... and it is hysterical... how about ORIGINASTICAL! 1,007,711.5 and counting :o) Your work is originastical and you are a one of a kind Andrew... so entertaining and humorous! G'day mate!

  7. Wow, seems to be the common word for our comments, boring aren't we? But, WOW, when you post, you really post! I read every word! You gave Ces a fitting tribute also, you and Amalia are making me look bad, pretty soon Bella and Shirley will join in and I will be the lone, lame poster who only makes a small quip about accepting lovely awards. Oh well, I have to spend my time responding to your entertaining posts. Jack is cracking me up too. Hmmmm, now I need a new word for you, how does fabulistical or fantabulous sound, or maybe I should call your work something like wonderliciousness. We haven't started Latin yet this year, maybe once I start buffing up on my Latin roots I can come up with more creative words.

  8. OH Your work is so captivating! I love it! Such a magical hand u have** Muchas gracias gracias por compartir!!

  9. Your work := SUPER -FABULOSO-MARAVILLOSO !!!!

  10. Andrew, do not think it is easy to respond to your comments (but is good to try) and less on a Thursday, like today, beginning the weekend of three days of the fifth week of January.
    You know, Jung dreamed much, and I think that I do, but do not remember much. But I have that "yearning undefined" which he spoke. As the baby who wants to eat something and not know what to eat, I want to paint something and not know what to paint.
    Maybe the holes in your door are the ones I saw on the Magritte's door. I believe that today, with some tools will do a few holes in the door of my house, it will be very good.
    Well I must say that your words are very important to me. I really appreciate that you've come to make your comment. Not all the comments come to me the same way. And your comments make their mark.
    Ehh .... What LIACAD? ... Licad, the pianist?
    OH! I've seen your archetypal unicorn! (Something like a mix between the archetypal Unicorn, and the archetypal Trojan Horse.
    perhaps the Troyancorn)
    Oh great your archetypal new job! Thanks for sharing. When an artist shows his work before it is finished, it is because he really appreciates the person who displays it. thanks.
    Hugs from the not country

  11. Well, Andrew, I can not say much for your new post. as you know. I read and understand only basic Spanish with a bit of slang from the port of Buenos Aires.
    But I was very impressed by the image of the man and the woman as if they were Giovanni Arnolfini and his wife in paradise!
    With the oval deformation of the mirror and all. (Van Eyck would have applaud)

  12. Ah. I'm sorry Andrew. I forgot the answer the million dollars!
    It is canvas.
    I prepare it with Gesso.
    and is very small: in this case 21cent.x15 cent.
    I won the million?? I won??
    Say yes, say yes!

  13. Okay. I suddenly had a flashback. Of sitting at a table, in a room full of people, and my drink tastes like mouthwash. In front of me, a man on a stage talking and talking away, with a huge grin on his face. Funny man. Quite mental, but nevertheless very funny.

    That could have been you. Heheh.

  14. I think reading things like "...dodging the tentacle blessed Bluebottles and the scurvy scum cusking bottom creatures' dehydrated washed-up bodies that littered the hide tigh mark.." brought that memory up.

    Not to mention typing words like "preplubhle" to verify a comment. Yep, words like that one only comes up on your blog.

    I wonder why...

  15. And "rhvwttogst" for the previous one???!!

    Ah well, I suppose Blogger has a way of defining people with these verification words. Mine would probably be like "bhlug, rodft, rweht, or maybe jussd"?? Heheh.

    I don't know, you're the word inventor, so you tell me. :))

    Anywaaaay.... What can I say about your work? The words that came to mind: "insanely mental". And that's pretty high up in my book, Monsieur.


  16. And Ces? Well, she's definitely something else, isn't she? Nutty and delicious. I'd eat her anyday. :D :D :D

  17. i just saw your slideshow of work,i am in shock i did not know such sights were possible except during dreaming.

  18. You're right we need more words, specially when we comment posts full of great works as this one :)
    Then if I'm out of words I can use some spanish right? Las ilustraciones de Adan y Eva me han gustado mucho sobretodo por el color, me gusta como esas aves azules rompen con el verde y el rojo al centro de la ilustración y los animales están más que geniales. En el carruaje de Cenicienta me encantaron las ratas uniformadas (me hicieron recordar un poco una pelìcula en stop motion llamada Blood Tea and the Red String...las ratas aquí son distintas pero vinieron a mi memoria).
    And that little teapot that looks like a pumpkin has caught my attention now. I love it (I want one of those).

  19. Hey Andrew,
    Wow, so many new pieces! All of them are awesome, but I specially love your Adam and Eve scenes, And the pumpkin chariot :)
    Very nice work as always my fiend!
    Yes, Ces's work is just out of this world as well, and she is really cool :D

    Cheers from Wonderland!

    (extending my wonderland secret handshake to you. I learned it from the Mad Hatter himself :P)

  20. Okay Andrew, now I must read every single word as well he he he he he! I just adore your out of this world illustrations that make my eye bugle with sheer delight at your fabulousness!!! You are masterful at what you do. You take us all to another world through your magnificent illustrations. Thanks so much!!

  21. His drawings are just great. Un saludo y muchas gracias.

  22. Hi Andrew, I know you didn't mean there is anything wrong with these 'wonderful' and 'beautiful' words - but they certainly don't compare to brilliant words like transpotated and the many more additions you will bring to the English language ahaha :) Anyway, I enjoyed reading this blog post, it's always nice to discover new words!

  23. I suppose you have to be at least a little nuts to be an artist? Okay, maybe more than a little. I really love the plumpkin chariot. An excellent mode of transpotation. I didn't realize koalas were so linguistically agile!

  24. .....you've transpotated me with this post...mr. andrew....be back in a minute...xxoo

  25. ok, I am back...ha ha ha. great post, I did read the whole thing, actually. and you are right, we do need some new words to descibe things...rather boring using the same old things. Anyway, I do so love seeing your work...i must say my favorite is the mouse and the tea cup of course...and the way you put them on the tea cup is just so inventive...love it..
    where do your ideas come from? they are so intricate in detail and story line, really.
    Congratulations on your award!

  26. Greetings Ces, oh I hope you don't mind me incooporating your nut Well it's mine nut, but yours. You know 'nut'? I always think of a head, like he had a hard 'nut'. Or I think of King Knut, who was the king before the king who preceded King Harold who was usurped by King William?

    Of course, if you were reading Jack and jill your 'nut' would be a crown!

    Thank you so much again for your generosity!

    see you in BBB land

  27. Oh thank you for reading my twaddle too :)

  28. Hey lauren Oh I have written in English and had poor people try to use the google machine to read it, and when they have not found the words, then they have been so very kind to pull down their dictionaries and search for the word, and then they still do not find it - because I have made up the word! So I think it is better to say that if you goolge translate this it will still sound like googleygurk because it does to native English speakers too!

    Hope your day is grande and your garden grows!!!

  29. Hehe he Janne, oh I put a lot of pictures up, sorry!!! I can never decide so I use the shot gun approach. Oh to be in the organisation you need to be a dwarf first, but you only need a letter signed by a priest, a published author and a virgin (they could be the same person I guess)

    Thankyou for liking the work. You know I liked your double forked sword very much! Oh today it rains and its cold at 27 degrees ! :)

  30. Vanilla, well I'm glad you understood, sorry I thought I put my mouth in my foot. Oh nice and all those words are just great!!! I was talking through my hat !! But I see Karen has the right idea - you take a word like wonderful and a word like delicious and join them up so you can get 'derful' or wonderlivious, I suppose you could get amazing yet frivilous - so that gives you amazilous!

    see you :)

  31. G'day Jack! Ow's it going? You know the drop bears have been so bad lately we have had to drink our beers twice as fast to keep them out of our schooners! Thanks for being so observant and the new word. !!! Oh and the tigh hye mark is beginning to show. see tyou and thanks for making me grin (I will send plastic surgeons bill with Freytag when he comes to visit)

  32. Hey Karen, did you know wow is a fantablous anagram! Oh I suppose wowowow i s as well, but that is what I say when I burn myself with a match or on the stove :) Thank you for being so supportive in my work!

    see you

    yes Jack is pretty funny :)

  33. aeneadellaluna, thank you I see you live in London, and it is swinging London! You are very lucky. 'England swings like a pendulum do" Is it true?

  34. Liliana, thanks so much! Your own work has me enthralled, you know? Such vigour! You paint magic!

    see hyou :)

  35. Hey Roberto MD! Now I see why you are the doctor! You know I have this ache.... LIACAD, that is our frfiend who loves the beatles and other stuff. I ran out of ink when I typed.

    Jungian archetypes were an eye opener to me because there they are standing so obviously in front of us, yet unobserved. I think its because they stand to close to us (our pschyce?) and se we cannot see their whole - just parts. It's like when we shave our faces we cannot tell we are wearing mismatching socks - in my case I know I am so i don't have to look :)

    Oh the million kronor is in the mail! There was a problem though, it was so heavy that they stam cost 999,999 kronor to buy...! : Thanks for the info on the canvas. You know my whole house is full of paintings crammed in places. Now I paint thin paintings because they fit better under the carpet

    see you

    oh the weekend approached I hear rain :)

  36. Amalia , must watch that keyboard!!

    now you are making me laugh, oh dear, would I put mouthwash in your lemonade? I ask you... heh. Mouthwash is 90 percent alcohol and the rest is seaweed. Did you know that? Were you hypnotised? Was it your fiancee who did it? Hmm, the questions are there you know, you have stirred up a few things

    hehe preplubhle? Well you should really use that in a snetnce. Yes I agree that the words you get are related to yourself. Whenever I go to German sites (don't ask) I get things like vernicht and panserkraft and vagonbender! When I go to French sites I get ... well "bhlug, rodft, rweht, or maybe jussd"?? Heheh.

    So maybe you have a little French in you?

    your new cover sings

    see you

    BTW thank you for being kind!

  37. Oh Kate, thank you so much. I could not get a link to your blog. Do you have one, to thank you in person :)

  38. Hola Ana, gracias por ser tan atento! Me ayuda mucho cuando los artistas son particulares en sus comentarios. Se lo agradezco mucho, como yo estoy tratando de crecer, pero estoy ciego de mirar mi trabajo con objetividad. La tetera está en el correo!

  39. Hehe he Francisco thanks! Oh that wonderland hand shakes takes a while to master! I always have trouble doing that neck move thing and often get my finger stuck in my ear - but it's worth it!

  40. Vanessa, did you know you were on my Joy list? Well Shirley Jack and Vanessa and Bella always maketh me smile - others too but I am saving the list!

  41. Hey Leovi, muchas gracias. Estoy disfrutando de la forma de ver el mundo.

  42. haha Linda, well you are very observant, I would grant you three wishes but mislaid my wand :) Oh yes artist's are nuts. Oh we are all nuts. My favourite expression when summing up at work? "Oh madam, I am sorry, the trouble is that you are perfectly normal..."

    see you :)

  43. Heather, well thanks! Oh the animal in the teacup, I am afraid it was drwan from real life. I live near the bush, the bush rats eat through the walls when it rains for a few weeks and they get in the house - some are so big you could fit saddles on their backs

    Lucky I have a license for a shot gun.... did I ever tell you about my toes by the way. I need special shoes made, because there is a large hole where my big toe used to be (left foot).

    That happened before I had shooting lessons of course...

  44. PS Vanilla, I am drawing up a list of new words, should be ready soon :) :)

  45. hello Andrew.

    i read very slowly.
    plus my brain is too small.
    it felt like eons have passed since i visited your site.
    but, i am here now enjoying your teacup... i once posted a teacup on a saucer.
    On a second thought, i should now think of it as a serious matter.
    Deadly serious.

    i notice the pattern (nice thing, Andrew!).
    No matter where we are, we cannot break from the vicious circle…
    it’s depressing to think of it.

  46. the infinite pattern of universe theory does really exist.

    i like this.
    your teacup, i mean.

  47. have a nice weekend to you too as well.
    please get up.

  48. That skin protect us from madness...

    Thanks for your comment, and great work like always!!!

  49. Hossa, Andrew! Mad Wax, I would almost say, what fireworks, pyrotechnics, colorful dance of words! I feel like a stammerer now, and would like to be transported :) to the English native speaking mindset for just this one post.

    Let me then join the most honorable and learned Ces Nut Dwarven Appreciation Society you readily co-founded! What a perfect world for the deepest, the most confused, the muddled up, the hyper reflective, inquisitive, and blinkingly finding TRUTH in ever changing colors... amateurs! Oha!

    Thing to do now: check out, what CES does!

    Very happy creations to you -- as you almost don't need more inspiration than you already have! :))
    Greetings from Amarantha (still without account here and busily groping her way to 3D)

  50. I heard someone out there has any pain.
    Today I attend from 3pm to 6pm.
    Please arrange appointment in advance

  51. With all the words (in our language) to choose from, and so few that are actually used, I'm thankful that there are people like you to create more interesting and entertaining means through your art and writing to describe the world that we inhabit. Congratulations on being awarded the nut of honor! May the strength that it symbolizes sustain you in your future creative quests! :o)

  52. ehhh. hem. .... I'm a little confused.
    Someone gave a rose stolen from a geisha who drink wine in the sand?
    Since the truck ran over me, I can not get coordinate my ideas. The problem is that the driver, after passing over me, he backed the truck to see if I was damaged and he crushed me again.
    I have another mix of ideas about LIACAD (is someone with a strange color of hair, usually dressed in black??, You know, there's a song, baby's in bla bla bla, she is like a rainbow, oh, no, that is of stones)
    Well, anyway. Today is January 1, the world rests his hangover on the night of December 31, and I say Happy New Year!

  53. Well, for heaven's sake, Andrew, I'm speechless! Can't even come up with one single word, new or otherwise, that can express the magick and awesomeness of ALL of these images. Art just explodes from you, doesn't it? Get outta the way, Andrew's making art!!

  54. I am....completely.....gobsmacked. Oh geez. Excuse me. I seem to have collected an entire sheath of dog hairs on my robe from rolling on the floor. Ugh. Could I trouble you for a lintbrush?

    THIS, my dear fellow, is fergolou out the yinyang wazoo. I have clapped so vigorously that my palm is now missing, much like Eve's. Except I am clothed. In dog hairs. I was completely transpotaterded by your teacup and saucer! I want one! And YES, to be Cessinated is certainly a joy! Her talent dwarfs me.

    Ooooh, I saw this week's word Spooky and was titillified at the thought of all the wonders you would create....

    My magic word is Unrooffy. I was blown away by the cascade of your awesomeness, and now my house is unrooffy.

    Being transpotated now. I have the urge to eat a potato.

  55. Your comment on my blog:

    ANDREW!!! Ugh! Now I have a headache, you mischievous imp! HAHAHAHAHA! Thank you for making me smile.

    Do you know that the comment section here does not truncate or is that concatenate? One of those. In programming a module, what you just did would crash a program so we stop anyone from doing it in the first place by setting limits on long text entries. Blogger does not seem to care, does it? However, Yahoo has got that covered, not Outlook though and iMail has that covered too.

    BTW, interesting that this post labeled "Ces" is also labeled "Liar." HAHAHAHAHAH!

  56. Oh BTW, may I please post your Ces Nut Dwarven Appreciation Society on my blog? Thank you.

  57. Mita, well I finally rose up from the floor thankyou. Now my eyes are looking the other way! :) Oh I did tell you about Yeats, I hope you are well and the next weekend will soon becoming by mail I think. You must be proud to be a BBB!

    see you

    oh the self reflexive thing? thankyou for noticing it.

  58. dthaase thanksalot! it;s good that you are posting again.

  59. César , oh the skin of madness. Me, I think that we are all mad, it's just that some of us hide it better than others!

  60. Amarantha, it's always a pleasure when you come to visit. I'll have the dwarven society make a aplace for you! I think it's time that you made another art post at the forum. :) see you

  61. Ah Roberto, well you know, that is very funny. It is the way a surrealist thinks, do you know stream of consciousness? I have a story which I must tell you. MKy arm is better thankyou.

    I realised I had it on back to front!

    happy new year by the way :)

  62. Hey Michele, thank you very much. You know I didn't deserve it, Ces has so many talented friends that desreve it more. But I am very lucky!

    , is Halloween soon? I always hide when the kids come - my mum said never to accept lollies from strange kids -- see you :)

  63. Roberto, you guessed it on one, not the stones, but the dress!

  64. Krista, now I am a grown man. Stop making me giigle. You know I put you in the Joy Club? Well there is no club, but your art makes me happy (see the next post if you get a chance) see you from Oz!

  65. Hello Ces, oh now concatonate, isn't that when you are run over by a runaway wheel barrow. You know I am looking for a dislexic word here? I think I have found it in cocantattite! Thankyou

    Oh I would be honoured for you to place my work on your blog.

    Hmm, I'm off to find a ditconary,

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