Aug 19, 2010

Looking for the .... err Sixth Planet

Well I just received an email from an artist that I admire greatly. What they said has made me decide to add another image in the place of the first images. They are still there after the page break. I must warn you that they might disturb you - so please be aware of that, if you continue to the next point.

The image above is from a series I did on windmills last month but never posted. If you look carefully you can see two star gazers watching the stars appear with the coming of the sunset.

Star-light, star-bright
First star I've seen tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might
Get the wish I wish tonight.

A children's rhyme, oft repeated by adults in their prime.

Sincere apologies to those I disturbed with my previous image.


Well I have been living with Bosch this week.

Apart from learning how to digest a lot of Bratwurst, I have learnt from Bosch that the medievals had a penchant for sticking things in their derriers.

Well perhaps that's not right- perhaps medieval artists had a penchant for drawing things stuck in people's derriers.

Anyway, it all seems strange to me.

Bien, he estado viviendo con Bosch esta semana.
Aparte de aprender a digerir una gran cantidad de Bratwurst, he aprendido de Bosch que los medievales tenían una inclinación para pegar las cosas en su derriers.
Bueno, quizás eso no está bien, tal vez medieval artistas tenían una tendencia a dibujar cosas atascado en derriers de las personas.

To me bottoms are like chairs - in that they are meant to be sat upon. That's why they are behind us. If we sat down on our faces for example, then we'd have a lot of trouble seeing what was going on. We'd have to stand up to talk and to eat etc. Life would be just very difficult.

Para mí el fondo son como sillas - que están destinados a ser sentado en. Es por eso que están detrás de nosotros. Si nos sentamos en nuestras caras por ejemplo, entonces tendríamos un montón de problemas para ver lo que estaba pasando. Habría que ponerse de pie para hablar y para comer, etc La vida sería simplemente muy difícil.

And of course we have to consider the utter inelegance of having a miniature Hubble sticking out of one's rear end. And, elegance aside, a telescope jutting out behind oneself is going to make things dreadfully difficult sitting down at dinner - especially for those of us with absoultely no balance. We'd have to hold onto the side of the chair with one hand. And end up pushing the food around our plates with our forks with the other - and possibly onto the floor.

If things really took off we'd have to invent a new kind of dining chair - the telescope bottom dining chair. A chair very tall, like a high chair to get enough clearance, with a small hole in the seat, right in the centre. The edges of the hole would have to be chamfered of course, to help with our telescope aim - especially when we are tired or maybe a litle under the weather....

And what about in crowds, eh?

People with umbrellas are bad enough, but imagine a crowd full of people rushing round at railway station rush hour with things like shiny brass and wood inter planetary telescopes sticking out of their bottoms.

Imagine the carnage! All those little boys with poked eyes, thousands of blind little boys, all just because of the medieval artists' penchant - nay fetish - for having bottom poking things.

Pardon me. I'm off to write a letter to my local MP about this problem. I feel there's still a chance to nip it in the bud.... No I say, lets stand up for ourselves and sit down for dinner. Let's keep our kiddies safe. So say  "No". No' to ....

....... err sorry. I get carried away sometimes.

I hope you did not think the title of this piece was funny.

It is of course related to the Illustration Friday prompt "Stargazer."


  1. Ah, no no no, Andrew. I started to read in Castilian. but then I was in the middle of the road, anyway, thank you very much.

    Well, there is a theory that possibly originates in the ancient codices of the Dead Sea. in which we are not supposed to sit with the face, because the ladies of the front seat should stay the whole evening with her legs closed.
    but not a very credible theory.
    I will continue to investigate and come back to tell you.

  2. Mmmmmm ... I'm still researching (at the door of my house there is a man with an overcoat and dark glasses he wants to sell a manuscript found in a tomb in the Sahara desert or other there. is likely to clarify the issue somewhat.)

  3. Uh, sorry, Andrew, I was very rude, did not say anything about your spectacular illustration. It's wonderful.
    What word is that I hardly see: Procter ... proctol .... or something?
    Ahhh Proctoloscope are these devices to watch the stars!

  4. ...while im looking for an alignment of the stars in the Cassiopeia region.

    ahemmm.... to answer the 666:
    Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666.

    Roman numeral DCLXV.


    did i tell you that your 3 posts about the devil are very good for my mind, body, and especially soul?
    i think i did...

    you know im just joking... dont take it seriously...

  5. now im serious:

    2^2 + 3^2 + 5^2 + 7^2 + 11^2 + 13^2 + 17^2 = 666
    (the first 7 primes number)

    1^6 - 2^6 + 3^6 = 666

    1+2+3+4+567+89 = 666
    123+456+78+9 = 666
    9+87+6+543+21 = 666

    phi = -2sin(666 degrees)
    = -2cos(6×6×6 degrees)

    be back later.

  6. Sympathy is the name, and For the Devil is your surname?
    Hmmm .... strange
    eh ... 666 may be 18.
    or 216
    Eh ... 2 +1 +6: 9
    Nine !!!!!!!! you know !!!!!!!

  7. Ohhhhh no more champagne,
    take out the glass to that girl!

  8. !!!!!!, Andrew forgot to tell you!
    Be careful in the house of Hieronymus, with the lead contamination
    he prepares the color white with lead carbonate (2PbCO3.Pb (OH) 2)
    It is very dangerous for your health!

  9. wow, again, this is very cool, it makes me think of Dante's Inferno also. Unfortunately Medieval painters had this penchant due to the fact that during the Medieval period sticking terrible things in a persons "behind" was a form of torture. You should look it up, you might get some inspiration for another macabre piece. My son did a research report on Medieval forms of torture and torture during the Inquisition period of the Catholic Church. It was quite enlightening(I'd never looked at pictures of some of the devices before) and disturbing. He really enjoyed it; maybe I should be worried. But, I think it was just 13 year old morbid curiosity, he kept saying "oh cool" ! Knowing you, you probably already know all this, it's just a lot more fun for you to tease us with your wonderful stories. I'm glad you didn't keep it to yourself. I'm feeling pretty bad for the telescope guy, wow, that must be painful! Oh and thank you as always for all of you kind, generous and thoughtful comments on my blog, you are a dear friend Mr. Finnie!

  10. My sides are aching after reading this hilarious post, but I'm sure that's not all that would be aching if what your illustration proposes was indeed a fact of what's in store for the "end" times! And just imagine what unexpected sights we'd be exposed to! Very clever "Star gazing" piece, but I think I'll keep looking up in the sky! ;o)

  11. Actually I think he may be looking for the eighth planet....ur-anus :o) Another delightfully disturbing piece my friend. Love the astronomer/proctologist script on the wall Very funny! If cows had telescopes protruding from their "behinds", they could be gazing and grazing at the same time. Maybe the ancient proctologists were also astronomers, why else would they give the name hemorrhoid to a certain area, and ass-teroid to a certain rocky masses that orbit the sun? ;O)

  12. wow! everything is very awesome! pure cruelty! heheehhh
    out the fear, the composition of the scene is brilliant!
    the central arch illuminated by fire, leads to reading the information, very well thought out!
    Andrew, could you give a medieval air in this fantastic mythological realism!
    I hope they quickly find the 6th planet to the joy of the victim! ... ;)
    greetings and hugs!

  13. Ouch!!!! This is very Your work is amazing. So much to look at in every piece.

    Thank you for your visit and you are right, I should have named my starlit, Gretta Garbomouse...he he he! you made me laugh.

  14. As an emergency room nurse, I once took care of a patient with a collection of fruits...

    Sweet potato, was the culprit...

    and another who told me she was "Sproutin". Indeed she had vegetation...

    Still obsessed with horny creatures, I see...

    Have a lovely day, my friend!

  15. Well, Master Andrunymus Bosch, it seems to me that you're challenging your inner self to an extended length these days. More apparent dark humor and satire approach, I see?

    Now, these tea drinking hell hall occupants are seeking for Saturn? Any reason in particular other than adding misery to misfortunes, perhaps? Judging from the size of their bellies (and a huge hole in one of them!), it's probably best to seek for Jupiter instead. I know I would...hehehehe... :))

  16. You know, I'll leave the 'rear-ends' commenting to your friend Jack. He seems to be on a roll, there! Hahahaahaa.... (See how your art brings out the mischief in even the sweetest of man??!)

    Anyway, my offer of congratulations on another fine piece, my friend. Bosch and I are so very proud of you. :D :D :D

  17. Amazing! Simply amazing! I don't know what else to say except! AMAZING!!!!!! he he he he he! Hugs to you.

  18. Aha Roberto, once again you made me laugh aloud! And that's saying something. Evere since I sold all my teeth to a poor fisherman in New Zealand (he'd run out of fish hooks and thought my teeth looked sharp) I hardly smile.

    So making me laugh is saying something.
    Sorry about the half translation. I ran out of time last night and my 'better half' threw a "spack". IE I was called to dinner :)

  19. Proctoloscope ! I must put that in my work. Thankyou. Oh it says Proctologists. They have a special place ....

  20. Aha Mita, see I learn and live. Thank you. My education widens every day. Hopefully my brain will too so "Cassiopeia's constellation straddles the Milky Way in the far northern sky, neighbouring the constellations dedicated to her husband King Cepheus."

    Cepheus? Is he the king of dolphins?

    See mine eyes are opened. Thank you for the dissertation on three sixes. (Is that a card hand?) I walways suspected that you were as smart as your work said you were.

    So you are actually an actuary?

    hey three questions. :) I'm glad you like those three posts :)

  21. Hey Roberto, Hah I had a distinction in organic chemistry once - because I was too scaared of failing! (2PbCO3.Pb (OH) 2) Who would have thought! Two peroxide molecules? One for each of my hairs :)

  22. Hello Karen, ah yes and thank you for that inspiration! I'm off to check those implements out. Pity the poor souls they were used on :(.

    I once say an interview with the Pope when he was Cardinal... and I will tell you about it another time because it is politically delicate!!!!

    see you at CC!

    cheers from Oz

  23. Hehe Michele thankyou for laughing.!!! You know I got up this morning with all intentions of removing the text. But I had busted as there were 11 comments. I'm glad you laughed and I'm glad I didn't erase it! Keep looking up in the sky! You never know what will fall out of it!


  24. Haha Jack, you made me laugh, well I chuckled because as I read this I am in a meeting with the pime minster of Oz trying to get him to do something about this horrible phenomena.

    Hold on, I just noticed his name badge says Julia... oh oh.

    Thanks for that image of the cows. That one will stay in my head for a while.

    Oh yes, I counted the planets very very carefully!!! :)

    heh see you!

  25. Denise! Thank you. Heh, I like how you laughed at the cruelty. It is very bad hehehe. But I hope they find the planet soon too. It is time for their tea break! Thanks for your comment on the arch. Arches I am discovering are good.!


  26. Heather it is my pleasure to visit your work. I admire artists like yourself who can get that anthromoporophrogolgy thing happening ... Greta Garbomouse? Has a ring to it :)

  27. Heh Ces, yes they should be more careful sitting down at the green grocers. You never know what will happen. Better than Gerbells (they are a rare pointy flower found only in the wild highlands of the Eastern Tasmanian Desert.) They are shaped like a "Ger" which as you know, means 'Elephant Trunk" in ancient Arabic.

    :) I hope you have a good day too. For lunch today I bought a wooden sculpture.

    It was very chewy...

  28. Amalia.. oh six? Six was before seven and you know that seven ate nine? No but really I was leaving the punchline to Jack :) Heh.

    But Mita points out 666, so maybe they are searching for it three times?

    Thank you for being nice about my work. I can't see the satire though. My work is meant to be srious, a lot like err, umm, ahh... like ...

    going to the dentist?

    Now that's serious. My dentist has horns.... he told me it was just a strange growth that started as a small mole on the tips of his ears. He kept watering it and.... well you know the rest,

    Oh tea cups? How did they get there? :) :) I wonder if they have a cleaner with horns... Now that's an idea. I can see him now, his name is "Mildred".

    heh. Thanks for that prompt!!! I have another character now.

  29. Hey Vanessa! Thanks for the hugs :) A little bird tells me you are working very hard? That's grande. And very exciting!

    see you!


  30. I don't know about this one, Andrew.

  31. You know, I agree. You get carried away a lot these days... I hear rambling is contagious? So who infected who? :)

  32. Hey Pat! How's things? So I have finally gone over the edge do you think? Is it the sillyness or the bad taste? I'm not sure. I am trying to go with Bosch for a while. As Karen says it's a Inquisition thing by the look of it.

  33. Shawn I'd never heard of a Smart Car before Monday? They are very expensive here in Australia they tell me!

  34. Amalia, that wasn't rambling! I thought about that text for a long time, all night in fact. But when I came back to erase it was too late :)

  35. Yes, yes, of course you did, Monsieur. I know you always do. :)

  36. Hi andrew, you have remind me one of the my prefer BD "" , Iznogoud liked very much to impale people everytime ... (you remember)
    About today draw, i'm thinking you has visited tonigth Castilla-La mancha, here, in Spain, maybe with the devil smart you can reach impossibles speeds, you've told with Don Quijote about giants...all night, and you came back to have breaksfast at home.:)

  37. Bosch makes for an interesting house guest I think! Delightfully macabre Andrew!

  38. I thought of Bosch the first time I saw this series. And I think you've done a wonderful job of capturing his spirit...the last one, though, just looked a little too torturous to me. I'll go back and take another look while I'm still sober today:) Later, Mate.....

  39. Andrew, I'm sorry not really understand your language.
    And not being able to recognize when you're making a joke, or are you serious.
    Is this serious?
    Sorry, for not understanding.

  40. Hey. Morning here. Late morning there? :)

    I can understand that your latest works may affect people in different ways. Controversial ones always do. Some may see them as purely experimental, or extended inspirations, or even a whole transformation from your previous works. Gosh, some may even believe that you have totally gone nuts and decided to sell yourself to the devil!

    But being no expert, since I am only a budding art worker myself, I'll only say (and hope) that it is merely your way of extending yourself to another level as an artist. Heck, I've done some pretty freaky work myself, but just not bold enough to post them on my blog. :)

    Perceptions and comments do come with the territory, no? I'm sure your next work will be just as controversial.

    Happy, happy weekend, you in OZ! :))

  41. PS: The windmill work is great! Why haven't you posted it before?

  42. And one other thing... a wise professor I knew once said: "If you want your art recognized, the last thing you want to do is to be safe."

    Huh. Go figure. :)

  43. I like the windmill picture alot... the atmosphere and everything is just nice... I like the silhouette of the tree... :)

    I also like the nursery rhyme...

    Did you know that many nursery rhymes and children stories contains dark messages... and are often cruel... But its cruelty and dark messages are often concealed by concept and representation itself...

    So cool rite... I know... hahaha....

  44. Hey Andrew! Love the tone on the windmill/star gazers. I can't believe you kept this from us for a whole month! That sky and the contrasts are amazing!! Salman Rushdie once said, "It's very very easy not to be offended by a book,. You just have to shut it." I think the same could be said of a computer screen and a click! Let Andrew be Andrew and the rest whoever they want to be. :o)

  45. Hi Andrew, There is something that I never tire of saying. All things can be measured. Only one thing is infinite. human stupidity.
    I have had to suffer many times in my life.
    There is another good old saying. "What does not kill me. Me strength!

  46. Hello and congratulations!

    You won my give-away. Please drop me a line and email me your mailing address. If you are giving me a P.O. Box, please know that the package measures at least 9" x 12". Due to customs requirements, I do not think I can send to a P.O. Box, if you live across the ocean. I will email you when I have mailed your package. Thank you for participating.


  47. Andrew, how beautiful this scene!
    is so dramatic and intense...
    I felt like an old movie, full of emotion!
    congratulations! I loved! ;)


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