Big Mike: a large conjubial man with a zealous air.
Richard the Bear: a stuffed bear with bright eyes.
Ralph the Faithful Friend: unseen and unheard.
Zelda: the Alien: a glass eye.
The 'Wife": a tall dark, sensuous and patient woman.
After a hard day down at the Bigtel insurance office Mike and Richard just loved to watch the Slalom re-runs on Saturday night Foxtel.
'Richard', Mike would often tell his wife, 'wasn't really a stuffed bear.... Richard just looked like a stuffed bear.'
'In reality,' Mike would explain patiently to his wife, 'Richard the bear was a kind hearted alien from the planet Zog who, five hundred years ago, had been placed in a mind warp by Nimueh, the evil sorceress, and imprisonned on earth in a stuffed bear's body.'
During their drinking sessions down at the 'Cricketers', Mike often admitted to his best friend Ralph that he wasn't sure his wife believed him about the bear.
Sometimes after dinner he'd catch her staring at him as if he were crazy.
Mike didn't care (well that's what he told Ralph anyway). He knew he wasn't mad.
Just wait till he spilled the beans on Zelda, the alien who's soul was locked in the glass eye of their new rocking horse.
Then his wife would really think he was off his rocker.
At least Ralph believed, thought Mike. Now that was important.