Heart of Darkness

The Hand Of .... err.....  "Death"

Do you know that scene in The Heart of Darkness (Apocolypse Now) where Martin Sheen's head slowly arises out of the dark waters of a Vietnamese river, his face covered in greesepaint so it won't pick up the light as he sneaks up the river bank and assassinates Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Brando)?

Well, apart from the fact that there is a yellow rubber ducky in this image, this post has nothing to do with that Heart of Darkness scene at all. 

Well that's what my therapist said I should tell you...... She insisted I head you off at the pass, so to speak, before you jumped to any mixed metaphors.

So, to get to the quick of things I'd like to say I am sorry exponentially. I am so sorry to have been away so long. I do have an excuse though and it's a long story, so pull up a chair, pour yourself a nice glass of orange juice, crank up the air conditioner and send me the electricity bill care of Jack's Foster's blog. (billing address at end of post).

Well you see it goes like this.

On Thursday the 22nd of December last year at approximately 5.41 in the afternoon I was riding a mountain bike home from work. It had been raining, there were puddles everywhere, and unfortunately the front wheel hit a huge crack in the road and I went over the handle bars and landed on my face hands and shoulder. 

But hold on. That's not my excuse. I am only telling you that so I get a bit of sympathy.  

 Mind you, to be perfectly honest it bl&#@dy fr&^5gen damn well hurt!

Of course it wouldn't have hurt so much if I hadn't done it  in front of 33 cars stopped at a set of traffic lights in peak hour traffic. 

And it would have hurt even less if I hadn't been wearing the pooncey pooncey bright purple helmet that I'd given to my wife the previous Christmas - a helmet that unfortunately had fitted her like a German WWI helmet might have fitted someone with microcepahly.

 Not that, I hasten to say, my wife has a small head - it's just that mine, being jammed packed full of brains, sand and salt water is abnormally large - and consequently just the right size for the XXXXX helmet I'd bought my wife.

Why am I telling you this...... hmm?
Oh yes, shoulder,sore, concrete, cry sympathy, excuse.
That's it: I am making an excuse!

So, unable to surf and laid up in my imaginary hospital bed surrounded by a bevy of beautiful, curvaceous Teddy Bears of all shapes and sizes, I have been working  on a few books. That's my real excuse (well that's what my therapist told me to say)

How cool is that?

But seriously, my therapist has also been teaching me to be more child friendly. The images here are the result of my first week of sessions. She tells me I need more work but I am not convinced.
:)

 Thank you for looking - again. They get big if you click on them. 

Which kind of freaks me out a little. :)

see you!

PS this one for If's 'Intention.'  At least I think it is.